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Miracle

June 9, 2011

Spent a very low morning yesterday feeling totally broken and sad … still with horrible cramping pains which shot up and down the front of my legs …

so it was with a heavy heart that we went up to the Rosie – to the Daphne Ward.

Waited with other sad looking couples until Sally the cheerful midwife sonographer whisked us off to a side room to do the scan … she explained she’d turn the screen round if she saw anything – the scan was to eliminate the possibility of the suspected ectopic pregnancy – apparently more common in IVF pregnancies.

She peered at the screen and waggled the invasive scanning tool and then, by a miracle, said “I can see a pregnancy in the correct place”, kept on waggling and peering and broke into a big grin and said “and there’s the heartbeat”

She turned the screen around, waggled the scanner inside me and there on the grainy black and white screen emerged this tiny flickering light … so so so fast … like a strobe light, an old fashioned cinema reel flicker or a fisherman’s candle flickering on the Arabian Ocean. It was hard to make out the Spaniard … and she struggled to measure it, the little fellow being so small but in the end she announced “4.7mm which is exactly the right size for it’s age” …

She examined everywhere thoroughly and the end report states:

View: Good

Pregnancy Site: within the intrauterine cavaity

Morphology: gestational sac

Gestational sac: 17.2mm x 8.1mm x 15.7mm

Yolk Sac: seen

Empryo: present

CRL: 4.7mm

Heartbeat: present

The uterus contains a single gestation sac with yolk sac and live embryo

Heart pulsations clearly seen

They couldn’t work out why I had such horrible cramping and why I had brown goo … but apparently could be my aged body dealing with the small invader, or an “irritated uterus” (love the expressions!!) sulking about the horrible but very important post IVF cyclogest pessaries, or just cos …

We saw Sandra the doctor afterwards who was delighted to be proved wrong and told me to take care and let them know if anything else happened … and we walked home … shell shocked, happy, relieved, exhausted and feeling very very fortunate.

We saw The Spaniard’s heartbeat … an absolute miracle particularly when expecting to see either nothing or perhaps a small still dead embryo.

Here is the picture we were given …

I think it is so funny …

the little soul looks as if it’s moved into a new house and is sitting at the side thinking “crikey where shall I put everything, so much space, only me …”

 

It is still absurdly early days, we have another scan tomorrow at Bourn Hall, which is great … maybe the Spaniard will be 5mm by then!

I know the risks are huge but it was a miracle to see the little fellow contemplating its ‘home’ and for now we are able to celebrate its existence and pray so hard that our little Spaniard hangs on in there and puts up curtains and makes itself at home.

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