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Stockings and Brooms

August 9, 2011

Today in London a whole series of communities came together with brooms to clean up their streets after the horrific looting and vandalism of the last few days … pictures of brooms waved in the air made me smile. The world needs positive news … Norway bought dignity, peace and flowers out in the light of terrible loss of life. Faced with looting and repulsive behaviour here we are talking about bringing out armoured tanks and possibly plastic bullets (God forbid) … so the pictures from Clapham of people with brooms cleaning and repairing their own local areas was a good good thing. Norway has flowers, the English have brooms … not quite sure where I’m going here so I’ll stop.

Suffice to say that the appalling behaviour up and down the UK is despicable and isn’t the world I want The Spaniard born into … but the world of cheerful positive people waving brooms or dignified proud people waving flowers is.

Anyway – in my reality today my stockings arrived …

3 pairs … 2 are classic granny tights colour – beige, and one pair just looks like knee-length black socks.

They are a bugger to get on and feel very odd, they look shocking BUT I can wear my flip flops … if I ignore the fact that I now have the ‘dodgy man in sandals and socks’ look.

It made the nurse, who had to teach me how to put them on (!!!!), and I both laugh alot which was good.

I then went upstairs to see the Doctor – not my usual GP – he wasn’t in – but a wonderful Lady Doctor called Claire … she said “congratulations”, I burst into tears and all the angst I felt over the weekend and poured into my last post came flooding out.

She was a star, listened, talked about me being passed the worst risk time, chuckled about my oh so sexy stockings, explained that the pain was probably Round Ligament Pain (due to old womb and old ligaments stretching around the side of my rapidly expanding uterus) and offered to listen for a heartbeat. We discussed what to do if she didn’t hear one and how it didn’t necessarily mean the end as her heartbeat listening jobby wasn’t as high-tech as others … and then I lay on the paper covered bed.

It took ages – we heard my heartbeat and then finally – very low down on the right hand side – we heard the firm insistent beating of the small but determined heart of The Spaniard.

Such a huge relief I burst into tears again … and the stocking measuring nurse who’d come into get a prescription signed just dropped it and came over and hugged me.

The Doctor sat me back down again and grinned from ear to ear and said, “You know alot of people are joining this emotional roller coaster journey with you” which was lovely.

So … I left feeling absolutely wiped out but with … almost for the first time, a huge grin. I also told a very dear friend yesterday and her shriek of joy was a really positive thing.

So … in spite of everything … and the fact that neither surgical stockings or brooms are iconic fashion symbols … for me today they both herald good news.

And that’s alright with me : )

Thank you for all the very kind messages of support over the last few days – they’ve really helped.

Now off to bed humming “I’m too sexy for my stockings”.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. August 10, 2011 9:34 am

    “You know alot of people are joining this emotional roller coaster journey with you”… so true. Even all the way from Saudi Arabia! I’m thinking of you daily and am so excited for you to have your little baby with you soon!

    Will you be finding out the sex?

    • August 10, 2011 12:34 pm

      Thank you Claire … that just made me grin from ear to ear xx

      as to the sex … my instinct is not … Roy would like to … but I think due to all the risks etc I’d rather not know … but maybe nearer the time and also we may just see something as we are to start having fortnightly scans as of September …

  2. August 10, 2011 12:50 pm

    I totally relate to not wanting to know the sex (not that I’ve been pregnant before, but I don’t get the sense I’ll want to know when the time comes)… but, you’re so busy worrying that baby isn’t going to make it, that you’re missing all the fun of pregnancy! Perhaps you should indulge yourself and find out? Anyways, with fortnightly scans you’re bound to start guessing 🙂

    • August 12, 2011 11:41 am

      nope still not going to deliberately find out the sex … but maybe I will start waddling a bit more and encouraging people to open doors for me and start behaving in a cliched ‘pregnant’ manner! thank you so much x

  3. Amy permalink
    August 11, 2011 12:04 pm

    A lot of people are definitely on this ride with you!!

    It was so wonderful seeing you on Monday – do pop round any time.

    You never were one for following the herd, you have always made your own path and this is just you being you.

    I’m wishing you and your wonderful little Spaniard all the very best. Keep growing little baby!

    If you want a walking partner let me know! I walked to and from the hospital for my op on Tues & Wed – crazy I know, but I finally felt like I could. I could definitely cycle to your Mum’s and walk with you.

    Loads of love and hugs, you’re doing really well Mama!

    • August 12, 2011 11:40 am

      AMY JO … hurrah … yes to walking but I’ll come and get you and we can go for a walk somewhere different to save you using up energy getting here … will give you a call next week and so look forward to it – and also to the fish feeding!!

      THANK YOU for your inspiration x

  4. August 12, 2011 4:54 am

    Whoever Claire is, I am her biggest fan!! She has said it all – don’t miss the fun of pregnancy. Enjoy it Ellie. Yep, tis a stressful time but you have been through many stressful moments in your life.

    I will never, ever forget walking past the gate of the pub with you after our womble and hearing about where you spent your ‘honeymoon’. Your passion is integral to you. Let yourself enjoy all of it so our little Spaniard can too this summer.

    And it had to be done!!

    • August 12, 2011 11:38 am

      Lindsey bless you … thank you for the video clip … that made me smile … Grantchester, Pink Floyd AND Simon & Garfunkel … woo hoo

      I’ve been pondering all this and decided that something that will help is telling more people – so after the weekend (assuming I get hold of the two people I want to tell in person) I’m going to start shouting about it online on Facebook and so on and telling random strangers!!!!

      I take The Spaniard for daily walks and chat away to the little soul and that is a real pleasure … so I am secretly enjoying it I guess : )

  5. marielle permalink
    August 12, 2011 3:37 pm

    A friend sent me the link to your blog this week after Roger who you recently met in London mentioned it to her. I’m also 47 and off to Barcelona next week for my first appointment with an IVF clinic to investigate egg donation. Even though I’m only at the very beginning of the process, I’m already stressed – a mixture of being excited and scared, both. So, I found reading your blog very helpful. It’s great to know I’m not the only crazy 47 year old woman wanting to get pregnant. It’s also good to know it worked the first time round for you even though I don’t want to be too hopeful for myself!

    • August 14, 2011 8:22 am

      Marielle thank you … and best best best of luck with Barcelona … if you get as far as the embryo transfer, it doesn’t hurt … almost feels like an anti climax … and the urge you’ll feel to stand on your head afterwards is one lots of people seem to have .. they said you could fly the next day but we stayed in Alicante for a few days to rest and recover.

      I was advised before hand to stay off all coffee, alchohol and so on … and shell fish … and to laugh as much as possible the day of transfer … odd advice but I read up on it and seems to have been grounded in something – and it worked!!

      Take care and thank you for your very kind words about my ramblings : )

      • marielle permalink
        August 16, 2011 2:22 pm

        Thanks Ellie for the good wishes, the encouragement and also for telling me about your experience of the transfer. It’s good to know it does not hurt. I don’t drink either coffee or alcohol, so that’s not a problem. I like the advice of laughing a lot on the day of transfer though and my husband is now under the instruction to make me laugh as much as possible. If everything goes ok the transfer will take place between 4 and 8 weeks’ time, which feels a long way ahead as I’m now psychologically ready. From your blog, it seems that this whole process is a lot to do with waiting and learning to trust and be patient…

        Sorry to hear about your fainting on Sunday. I teach yoga to pregnant women and I see it happening fairly frequently, so don’t worry and simply take it easy.

  6. August 13, 2011 8:13 pm

    A BIG hug to you, Ellie. You are an inspiration – as Marielle has made clear – and you might want to think of lifting the search engine block on your blog so that others can be similarly inspired.

    • August 14, 2011 8:24 am

      THANK YOU Roger – high praise indeed coming from you … I will think about lifting the search engine block in due course but there are still two people I want to tell in person and I feel a bit cautious until then … also a little nervous of ‘public’ exposure!!

      Happy Sunday x

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