The sweetest kiss
After the downs and ups of the week, I was fortunate enough to have the happiest weekend imaginable … I rested all Saturday morning and had a small (very) tidy up at home and marvelled at the fact that my tummy had changed shape again … The Spaniard had obviously been doing cartwheels of joy at everything being officially ok and had ended up a different way round. Roy was down south visiting his mother and sisters and I had the world to myself.
My very best friend drove all the way from Salisbury to see me, minus small sons and husband, a rare treat for the two of us to be ‘alone’ together. We went on my usual, walk, got caught in a rainy blustery patch of weather and then sat at the top of Cambridge’s one hill and looked out across the increasingly Autumnal scenery and talked and talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed, cried a little then laughed and then went to the farm shop and ate cake and drank hot chocolate.
Back at mother’s house we 3 just enjoyed being ‘girls together’ and that peaceful easy relationship of knowing each other so well … The Spaniard felt ‘settled’, my tummy didn’t hurt and there was a lovely lightness in the air. My friend and I went out for a curry … possibly the only thing I’ve craved … and carried on our talk-a-thon before wandering across the road to watch a film … One Day … a film that girls who have known each other for years and years and know of each other’s lost loves, the secret what if’s and the ‘maybe one day’ dreams should watch together.
We got home and just carried on talking til the yawns and what might have been The Spaniard moving around (did I feel something???) forced us to go to bed.
Woke late on September 11th … thinking about the world The Spaniard is to be born into … I remember ‘that day’ so vividly, the phone calls to the States, the images on the television, the confusion on the radio and the fear … I flew to Hong Kong on 13th Sept 2011 one of the first flights out of Heathrow … probably the safest flight ever, so searched were we all … the airport full of reporters and TV people with furry microphones … I went to HK to see my little brother … his first son was due a week or so later. He’s now about to turn 10 … and I believe is in a pretty wonderful world… I think The Spaniard will be born into a fairly amazing place too so I refuse to be down hearted by all the people talking about loss of innocence and so on … the important thing is that we are all aware of differences and of similarities and pay attention to the suffering of innocents throughout the world and try to address this.
Anyway … enough waffling … the incessant chatter carried on all morning … also watching the Last Night of the Proms finale on the BBC iPlayer … Mummy queued up all night as a student to get in and went several times with her father so it has always been a family tradition to watch. As ever it also makes me cry!
My friend and I wandered into Cambridge and ate and chatted and chatted and chatted and chatted …and she told me she’d a whole batch of her old baby stuff waiting for ‘as and when’ I need it which was good to know. She headed off home during the afternoon and as she left I felt so reassured knowing that I’ll always be ok with her and people like her in my world.
I then popped to see a wonderful and very new close friend as it was her little girl’s 6th birthday … a proper girly girl … so pretty and so enchanted with the butterfly pencil-case I gave her. When it was time to go I hugged her mum, hugged her and she skipped away … then turned back saying, “the baby …” she ran over hugged me and kissed me right in the middle of the tummy exactly on the spot where I’d shown her The Spaniard was during the scan.
It really was the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had.
I drove back to mother’s house and we carried on the chatting, and watched a video together (me lying on the sofa and her sitting up covered from head to foot in a blanket); Ballet Shoes .. by Noel Streatfield … one of my favourite books as a child. Then I went to sleep, listening to the very high wind in the trees outside but feeling so proud and so happy … and that all is indeed right with the world.
Thank you Susannah, Annie and Jasmine, and of course mother, for a perfect weekend
… The Spaniard and I are so lucky.