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Count down begins; kindness and a training manual 10

January 3, 2012

All being well and assuming that the current status quo is maintained then The Spaniard will be unzipped and unleashed onto an unsuspecting world in the afternoon of Thursday 12th January … (obviously all up for change with the review tomorrow and ongoing tests but aiming ahead as lots to get done in the meantime). As I type this that is a mere 10 days away … and I can’t quite believe that after all the December hiatus it is possible at all!

Still – looking forward I’m determined to fill these last few days with what little sleep I can manage (little monkey wakes me up every night rolling on my bladder – still can’t feel it move but do get the urgent need to dash down the corridor and then spend hours trying to get back to sleep again), I need to do some work at my computer having lost so much time before Christmas … the whole being self employed thing does worry me hugely but hey it’s only money I can always send The Spaniard up chimneys or something … I need to organise someone to help move some furniture around in the spare room (now practically entirely relocated into the attic – when will I ever find anything again??), do hoovering and so on and try and lift the coffee stains (husbands – pah) from the sitting room carpet, and also buy a pram, sort out my maternity allowance (£127 per week), go to a baby class, see health worker, see midwife and also spend tomorrow aft in hospital and most of Friday and Monday … need to enjoy a foot massage today and a shoulder back and neck massage later – hurrah … need to book a waxing appointment (ouch but better than the threat of the bic razor), and have eyebrows done … did fit in a hair cut so no longer look quite so much like a bush on a blustery day … also want to fit in lots of laughter and time with friends – oh and sleep too… oh and walks.

So .. there we are … yesterday I had a case of the blues. Which was strange as I had a lovely walk to Fen Ditton along the river and bumped into several friends, the sun shone down and it was a proper brisk cold lovely blue skied New Year kind of a day.

Stourbridge Common glorious day

Stourbridge Common new years walk




When I got back to my house, cold, empty and unloved, things felt very stacked against me somehow, so much to do, so little time, feeling very isolated and lonely and also a bit cross that I haven’t ‘enjoyed’ being pregnant as much as I thought I would – for a plethora of reasons although it has been the most enormous thing that has ever happened to me. I was sitting on the floor in my spare room going through a pile of things and throwing stuff out, putting ‘special’ stuff into a box and so on and the world didn’t feel great somehow. Then I popped round to see my neighbours …

We moved in on the same day in February 19 years ago … their son was having his first birthday – he’ll be 20 on the leap year day (or 5 depending how you count!). They have been through thick and thin with me, they’ve bashed on the window at 5am about 8 years ago after a very drunken night with a friend of mine dancing to George Michael and keeping them awake all night, we’ve done things in the garden, they’ve given me endless cups of milk when I’ve run out, we’ve all lost family members and comforted each other, they’ve also seen me through all sorts of relationships and I generally couldn’t hope for more marvellous friends and neighbours. Anyway – yesterday afternoon I called round to see them, feeling very weary and a bit lost in the midst of everything … I haven’t seen much of them for the last two months what with being at Mother’s and in hospital so it was a real joy to go into their peaceful sitting room and just hear about their holiday time and eat their left over chocolate. Somehow in those 2 hours I felt as if I’d had a wonderful Christmas too and that the New Year is to be exciting … all the aches and pains melted away and they made such a fuss of me it was lovely. That sounds dreadful as if I need a fuss making, I don’t generally but I guess  yesterday I must have done … He made me laugh while she went upstairs and bought down a little pack of tiny baby clothes and a training manual – Your Baby Week by Week … which was wonderful.

At that point I felt all my anxieties drain away and felt prickles of genuine excitement at the impending birth. I suppose for so long I was told it was unlikely to happen due to age and risks and so on, and then with all the trauma of the time in hospital … and suddenly 10 days away it really seems a possibility … even a probability. At that point I cried, but this time for happiness and for the absolute joy of feeling loved by long time friends and felt really proud and happy and pregnant. They’ll never realise the major impact of their kindness I don’t think but I wanted to record it as it marks a real turning point for me.

I drove home to Mother’s house, and everything felt right. Roy was there and had cooked supper, Mummy was watching Eastenders and the sound of the Military Wives Choir singing ‘Wherever You Are’ came out to me … it was a really happy evening in such lovely contrast to the night and days before.

I’d like to say I slept like a log all night but I woke up with hugely swollen ankles a few time, but The Spaniard was lurching around which made me feel happy and so I took it for a walk up and down the stairs and told it how lucky it is to be so surrounded by people to love it … and then read it the first few pages from the new training manual so it knows what is expected of it after the unzipping ceremony.


5 Comments leave one →
  1. Roger Darlington permalink
    January 3, 2012 3:23 pm

    The countdown begins as the world – well, all your relatives and friends and colleagues – wait for the announcement: “The Spaniard has landed … Houston, we have a baby … That’s one small exit for The Spaniard, one giant relief for Ellie and Roy”.

    • January 3, 2012 6:37 pm

      Hopefully it will be a small exit wound … I have visions of being sawn in half wearing my best spangly outfit in manner of magician’s assistant!!!

      Thank you so much Roger for your love and support – one of my ‘tasks’ this evening is to fill in some of my / The Spaniard’s wonderful book x

  2. January 3, 2012 6:46 pm

    If you keep the book up-to-date, Ellie, you’ll find that it provides great joy to you. fun information for your friends, and a useful record of practical things like illnesses and inoculations. I’m really looking forward to checking out The Spaniard and his book in a few weeks time.

  3. January 3, 2012 7:55 pm

    Thinking of you all, exciting times indeed, enjoy every moment,

    Kathy V

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