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She cried and in the end so did I

September 25, 2012

I picked Hope up from the child minder and she was all blotchy faced from crying bless her … that tore at my heart strings more than leaving her there …  She played with her new little playmates for an hour and then fell asleep but then woke up all disoriented and refused to eat her cucumber sticks (unheard of), wouldn’t take the milk I’d taken so long expressing from a bottle (not unexpected and I must help her practise with bottles) and she totally rejected her pitta bread and got all in a pickle … bless her.

I arrived and was so relieved to hold her close again, she looked at me then looked away and howled and then suddenly went quiet and smiled and demanded to be fed. Some warm milk later she looked up and reached out for the little boy who was looking on and grinned at CM, then I really knew she was ok.

So, it wasn’t an outrageous success but I think she did OK … and so did I and as I left I heard the little boy asking if ‘baby Hope’ was coming back to play on the “tramleen” with him another day when she is bigger made me smile … she will have fun with the other children and CM seems a sensible, imaginative, funny soul, and for the time being it will only be for a day a week building from 4 hours up to 8.

I had such a busy day I didn’t really have time to reflect on it all til now, a friend posted a link to this song by Darius Rucker (who I’d never heard of before) on my Facebook page, I read the lyrics and listened to the song and promptly burst into tears … sentimental hormonal fool that I seem to have become (well I always was but it’s got worse!)


I did a BBC radio debate today (BBC Radio Cambridge at starting at 20 mins and 26 seconds in) as well (about being an Older Parent – a whole ‘nother story – I think it went ok) and took Hope with me, the presenter of the previous programme looked after Hope for the 20 minutes we were on air, on the other side of a 6 inch thick sheet of glass so I could see her. She played, she ate a slice of cucumber, she looked at me through the glass and then she howled. The wonderful producer walked around the corner and started to sing to her, when I came out a few minutes later the whole production team were singing Dancing in the Dark to my girl who was beaming broadly, until she saw me when she cried and reached out to me, grinned, flopped onto my shoulder and fell asleep.

This evening we’ve curled up together and played together, we had supper with her Granby and her father, she had some cauliflower cheese and chatted away happily and I’ve just fed her and held her until she drifted off to sleep and now she’s lying there arms flung up above her with a peaceful happy smile being watched over by her friends Hospital Ted and Mr Sheep.

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