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… it pours

April 3, 2014

So in the last few days …

– mother / Granby (nearly 90) tripped and fell over in Cambridge, she was in town to have an eye test and caught her stick on the kerb and fell but was rescued by wonderful folk at Aromi cafe who fed her biscuits and helped her up (now resting full of lunch but very shaken)

– Hope was awake alot in the night fretting about a little boy she saw being upset by older children in the park

– when she was asleep it was in bed with me and was pretending to be the biggest star fish in the world so I ended up sleeping on the bottom edge of the bed on an inch of mattress

– I’m still battling with the end of this vile horrible bug and feel all bleugh (as Snoopy would say)

– the African sand cloud (yes I thought it was an April Fool too) is causing my dodgy lungs to breathe very shallowly and therefore cough which isn’t helping the existing bug (and you really can feel it on your lips when you go outside)

– I spent 5 precious hours writing a piece for the Telegraph which they approached me and asked for, approved, thanked me for, and now haven’t published

– Hope got very upset when she got her hand stuck the the triangle shaped hole in her shape sorting box thingy last night, contemplated calling the emergency services but instead smeared it with butter which did the trick … which reminds me I need to go and clean it.

– I clipped a car in the playground car park (barely even a scratch on it and no mark at all on mine) on Sunday and left a note under the windscreen wiper apologising and the bloke phoned and was extremely grumpy about it, and now says it will cost £1,500 which means bang goes my no claims bonus … which made me wish I hadn’t been honest and left a note, which in turn made me feel crap for having that thought

– the to sort out pile of possibly too small clothes has reached the ceiling

– I decided my feet were so grim I needed to get them attacked with machetes and sandpaper and went into town to the only nail bar that offers this service and they had a big queue and said to come back in 5 hours, which of course I couldn’t do so am still in thick socks to disguise my hooves as feet

– I found a white hair in my moustache, yes I seem to have developed one first spotted a few months back, (and several in my eyebrows), I’m clearly beyond over due for the quarterly full body overhaul

– I lost my reading glasses

– I had an eye test, with the eye dilation drops, and they found a cataract (“odd in someone your age more normally expected in someone in their 80’s”) which means I need eye surgery at some point soon

– the bag of walnuts on the back of the kitchen door burst (after a certain short person poked her spiky little fingers into it) and they went all over the floor

– my ‘wear them all the time’ boots have developed a hole at the front (after a certain short person poked her spiky little fingers into it)

– the wicker chair in the sitting room has developed a hole which has become a large trench (after a certain short person poked her spiky little fingers into it)

– I’ve become an evil bad tempered old bag


there are now two bloody wasps diving bombing me,

oh and when I opened the skylight to try and let them out the long handled hooky thing fell on my head.

Other than that all is marvellous …

which is true!!

Hope made me chuckle hugely this morning singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain” while she was having her breakfast, you can’t be miserable when there’s a two year old waggling her fingers (with raspberries on the ends) and singing, “Aye aye yippee yippee aye”.

Shutting up now … as the saying goes, “no rain, no rainbow” …



5 Comments leave one →
  1. Phyl Barrett permalink
    April 3, 2014 7:37 pm

    Sorry to hear about your difficulties….but that really made me laugh! Hope things improve soon.

  2. Sharonank permalink
    April 3, 2014 11:23 pm

    Your track record for surviving all the past shitty days is 100%.
    That’s fantastic.

  3. Jennifer permalink
    April 3, 2014 11:59 pm

    Glad your mum is ok, and sorry the days have been rough on you. Those white hairs…..I did not like finding them.

  4. Suzanne Lanzon permalink
    April 4, 2014 7:55 am

    Only you, Ellie, can make others laugh and feel wonderful by sharing the difficult time you are having. You’re truly amazing.

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